A Pine Cone: The Original Scrubbie
Enough for Furbird Jr.’s army.
Helpful Hannah and Miss Morton were out walking today going to the grocery store. Now neither of these women drive a car. They just don’t. No political philosophy keeps them from behind the wheel, it’s just as Miss Morton says, we walk or take the bus. We sure save money or so that is what we have figured out from what others who have cars say they spend. Never mind the gas, the oil, the upkeep, taxes and the insurance but just paying the bank every month the monthly payment. One could spend their whole paycheck just on getting around in a car. No that is not for us. Our shopping cart does the trick just fine. While turning the corner on the last road to the grocery store Miss Morton noticed that one of the wheels had gathered a large amount of dirt. “Well, said Helpful Hannah, “since we have no paper in our pockets we will have to use a pine cone to scrub the wheels clean.” “Oh my,” said Miss Morton, “I would have never thought of that.” “Well,” said Miss Helpful Hannah, “that is why I am in the business of being helpful.”
“Now Miss Morton you are not going to believe this one but I will tell it anyway. I heard of a guy who was running out somewhere on some old back roads someplace and he had to take a number 2 real bad. He noticed on the side of the road a lone pine tree standing near an abandoned house. Well that is that since there is no lake or pond to take a crap in I will have to do it there. Well he was in luck as the pine tree was a spruce which has very soft cones. TP in a pinch to scrub up that hole. Nice and clean, just a bit smelly, with a bit of sap and on his way he went. The things I hear about in my business of being helpful.”