An Acorn hits my head and a story comes out.

May Day and I were talking the other day and she said, Hey furbird please tell us the story by queerartist about the time an acorn hit old artists head and a story came out.  I almost got hit by a driver that turned on a walk light. Man did I scream at him bloody fucker. We we didn’t know if we could find the story as queerartist is nowhere to be found. Some say queerartist went to Spain got caught in a rain of robbers and now wanders around the country side taking in any lovely young hot boy that meets the old dicks fancy. But we know that isn’t true because queerartist is sitting right now on the throne in the john dictating this story to us while blowing farts and dropping bombs. So here is the story morning glory that yeah old queerartist told to us. I hope you all enjoy it as much as we did the second time around. You know May Day is very hard to say no to and we all enjoy a good tale every once in awhile.

An Acorn Hits My Head And A Story Comes Out

by queerartist.

I walk. I can’t stand cars. In fact many people who know me can attest to the fact I hate them. Never learned to drive as I always thought it to be (oh my here goes) un-natural. When walking one gets to see our world in many ways that a person can’t while speeding around. We could and we shall get into here the damage that all these cars are doing to the planet. Now please don’t think that I believe in Primitivism though I am sure we can all agree that some of their points are very valid. Cars have always gotten my goat. I use to walk nine miles from West Hurley into Woodstock and back again when I lived way out in the mountains. Never bothered me, except for the damn cars driving by. I live in a rather small city now with all the problems of a large city and daily I see the mulitudes come driving into work, one to a car. One to a car as I wrote moons ago smells pig. No need to say that your great grands will hate you when they cough, sneeze and wheeze and the ocean water laps their asses, and they all are forced to move to Kansas, and finally poor Kansas gets top-heavy with all the people and sinks to the bottom of the ocean. All because of your little part in greedy, blood sucking oil hogs. Never mind all the folks you are killing with your greedy need. No Blood For Oil. Man I know that’s true and will say it again, No Blood For Oil! Now I don’t care if the people who are the oh so good pacifists drive cars, as we were told in a recent article by an insipid journalists who makes excuses for them, because those who feed the needy are suppose to be up there with all the saints. Oh Saints, by the way don’t drive cars they march around. Saints or sinners jump in a car and go, you are still helping to kill the planet off and buddy you are helping to do it fast.  Yup.

Here are two pictures that make me cringe.

ooooh,I gotta pee.

ooooh, Me too.

Lord those ice caps are melting and you’re worried about pissing your pants. Icebergs the size of Manhattan are breaking off of Greenland and you are worried about getting to the mall on time. Dip stick you are shitting in the nest.  According to the latest estimates, there are 620 million cars in the world. The number will increase to around a billion by 2020. Getting a car and driving around is like part of what we are taught. Good time to sing the song Little Boxes, hey maybe I will enter it here. Not many even when they sing along make the connection with cars. And they all turn 16 and get their first car, then their second, then their third and they go, go, go,go, and they guzzle the gas, and drink up all the oil and pollute the earth till it gives up and dies. Nope we don’t sing that now do we. Like the woman I met a few years ago chanting, singing along at an Earth Day celebration and then drove home alone in her SUV.  So lets sing along with Rise Against who does a cover of Malvina Reynolds classic. I really enjoy this updated version a lot.

Oh Yes, just think keep it up and oxygen will be a historical fact and those earthquakes, erupting volcano, floods and famines will become our way of life. The planets mass is redistributed as Exxon, Mobil Chevron, Saudi Aramo, NIOC all pump, pump, pump out that black gold leaving holes or so I have been told. Feed your way to the mall. Take a trip to leaf peep. Ride one to a car to work. Hey, even the bus is better. Just think there are seats for 44 people and space for a good number of standees. Worth it by any standards except of course if ones standard is based in greed. Thats 44 cars and then some off the road.  I just heard last week that Ct. Transit is going to change all their buses next year to Hybrid. Way to go, a small step in the right direction.

But what can one little queer artist do. Nothing. Just stand there and shake my balding head and point my middle finger towards the driver. You all can be glad that this angry old man doesn’t have a bazooka, cuz baby I just may make the wrong turn and use it. Well getting that out was easy I have had lots of training.  But that wasn’t suppose to be the gist of this essay. Speaking about training we were trained years ago that one idea pushes the other, and then another and one lands in a place that could be nice but different from the map that was in your hands at the beginning of the journey. Suppose that is as good an excuse as any as to why I went off on the tirade about cars. Let me shake off the fumes and let’s go back to taking a walk as that is where I want to be this morning.

Acorns in a oak tree.

The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

So I go out walking to see what I can see. To get to there from here. To go nowhere. Just out walking  The other day while out I spied some acorns all over the ground and low and behold one dropped on my head. Ha, try that riding in your car. Well that little acorn reminded me of days gone by. A way back into the day. Anyone who has read some of mystory essays will remember my best friend Freddy, and his grandma who was a herbalist. A bit of Freddies story goes this way. His family were free blacks who came to this country and settled in a town that was called Chatham. Freddie’s family married with the Wangunk the original peoples of the land and his aunt Bessy Bates carried the stories of her people and spoke them to us children. Freddie and I also help her with many chores around her small farm. Somehow through thick and thin she was able to keep her land, a thin strip of wooded area, and a nice patch of good earth not far from Lake Pocotopaug which was her people’s tribal land. When those acorns hit my head I remembered going with Bessy and Freddie to collect acorns. Those acorns hitting one’s head will do it every time, start those old memory wheels turning. In those simpler times not everyone had cars and we all walked a good distance to Baker Hill where many oaks grew.  We filled bags with the acorns and put them in our pull wagon and to Bessy’s house we went. Now I don’t remember how she got flour out of the acorns but do know she did. So I said “since you are rusty and probably didn’t pay Bessy full attention go look up what you need and share it with readers of this blog.”

Chef2Chef has some very interesting facts about how to go about acorn processing. Check them out

A really beautiful site not only has info about Acorns, but Black Walnuts, Hickory Nuts, Elderberries, and Wild Grapes. Check it out  at

Wild Food School has this very interesting fact to say:

“With acorns it could possibly be said that you would be truly living off the fat of the land, perhaps even a wild food gourmet. In fact acorns of various types have been used as human food for a VERY long time, and it is only that the knowledge of how to prepare and use them has been forgotten over time.”

Do check out the site, North American Indian Recipes, Cooking With Acorns from Redhawk.

Redhawk begins this way: California Indians did not have to be farmers, and for the most part were hunters and gatherers. There was a ready supply of deer, fish, rabbits, foul, native plants for vegetables, native fruits, and even sea weed. Even so, acorns are said to have been the main food of as many as 3/4 of our native Californians.

For a great read of a truly wonderful blog check out Earth Home Garden at:…

Oh, what that little hit on the head can do. One idea pushed another and a new posting came out. I plan to go to a Korean market that has Acorn Flour. I will try it first and see if I like it and what’s up with it. Usually one can find the flour in a Korean market. Here is a listing of where the markets are   located:

Nice photo from the Really Wild Food Guide

I want to try Acorn Flour making a nice bread. Here is a delightful recipe.

Acorn “Corn” Bread

1 cup of acorn flour

1 cup of white flour (I use Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free All Purpose Baking Flour)

2 tsp baking powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

2 large eggs ( or egg replacer I would use)

1/2 cup of honey (or use Barley Malt using one for one. Use 1/4 cup less liquid for each cup of barley malt syrup.)

1/4 cup oil or butter

1 cup of milk. (I use rice milk or use soy)

  1. Mix dry ingredients together.
  2. Add all the rest of the ingredients and blend until smooth.
  3. Pour batter into a 9×9 baking pan, or 10-inch cast iron frying pan.
  4. Bake at 375 for 25 minutes.

Then we will enjoy eating it with some good vegetable stew

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