Archive for the ‘Ha Ha’ Category

Well us old gals are at it again. Traveling in search of a new home. This should be our last trip. We have contacts who have contacts who are in the know of where to live and where to go. Where to stay away from and where to check out.  Someone told us Vermont is full of cows, well we said even if we don’t drink milk, eat cheese or ice cream we love cows. Bonnie said with giggles, “you should see the place during rush hour, cows here, cows there, cows everywhere.” Yeah okay we will be in the city where we are sure there are very few cows. We’ll see some cows from the train give them a moo moo and be glad we don’t have to clean the barn. We love cows even if they do a job on the ozone. “I have to wonder,” said Bessy Marie, “do cows ever escape the field and come and stand on the train tracks?” I really hope they don’t as the train has no cow catcher in the front of it and if we hit such a creature it would be all over for the cow and cause delays. ( 1 ) Let’s hope not said Olga, lets hope the cows know where they at suppose to be and if they go anywhere else they will not hear the dinner bell. Here is a little song to start us on our way.

I am Cow, by Arrogant Worms.

Rush Hour In Vermont.

 

Lots of these on our trip. No worry the train is only 5 cars long. We were happy we weren’t waiting to cross the road or go on through to the other side of the tracks in Springfield as there was a freight train with almost 75 cars passing by.

The train route

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We know that by the time the train gets to us the bathrooms can be and usually are very smelly. Olga is the smart one in the bunch always brings a mask to wear when she is in the toilet. I just can’t sit there and smell that horrid smell, do my business and not have vomited all over the floor. Then the train folks would have another mess to clean up. So I get one of those masks fold it up keep in in my pocket along with a Lysol wipe or two. No telling what germs lurk around in the train. Germs are a funny thing can’t see them but if they get into you man can they do a job. Both of us gals are too old for that and thank our lucky stars we haven’t contracted anything this past winter on top of what either one of us have all ready. We take our Elderberry syrup each and every day. Getting old, now that is a whole other story. We don’t know too many old folks to sit around with and talk about getting old. I wish we did as then we would say, “Hey we don’t have it all that bad.” At the very least we would know what this getting old is all about and if this or that pain is worth complaining about. Maybe it will go away in a couple of days.

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Gals like us love the train. Having never learned to drive we take it all the time. You know the things you see on the train are much different than what you see in a car whizzing by at 60 miles per hour. These highways leave a lot to be desired as far as good scenery is concerned. Trees, cars, trees, cars. We love the train we get to see the backside of the cities, usually the older part, the graffiti along the tracks is always something to marvel at, an art show caught out of the corner of our eyes and then it retreats into the distant. Last time we were amazed at all of the mullein patches along the tracks. Huge Mullein plants, skunk cabbage, and ferns, ferns, ferns all along the tracks edge and into the woods. Something we very rarely see around these parts are white birch trees. The white lines among the green and brown, lovely. We came home last year in October and what a site to see out the windows of the trees changing colors. Never saw such beauty. What will we see in the spring time wondered Bessy Marie, of course we will be north and hopefully the gardens of tulips near the State Capitol will be in bloom. (more…)

We nearly spit out our morning tea when we saw this on our facebook page. What kid of fools are these folks.

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Yeah you all get the Jerks of the week prize. Keep it up and we just may give it out next week and the week after to you folks again. Get you ideas right. Here is our response on the facebook page.

This takes the cake or make it two for JERKS OF THE WEEK. Who the fuck believes that liberation can come through legislation? That is like saying Hillary Clinton is in the resistance. Stop using revolutionary words to explain away your liberal bull shit. Reform maybe but not liberation. Stop using revolutionary words and ideas to fit your liberal agenda. You are embarrassing those who have come before and causing a massive rolling over in the graves of our martyrs who fought the real fight so people all around the world would be liberated from the likes of evil systems.

To think that the word and concept of liberation would ever fit inside of a state capitol building is absurd. Foolish to say the least. Heads on backwards. Need a new hat maybe. We can tell you as a fact that if you are looking for liberation via the democrat party think again about that evil twin. They may be holding your hand now but remember how they are and can be when in power. But of course we don’t expect any of the folks in the liberal wing of the anti-trump movement to understand any of this. They just hear the words but don’t know the program.

The words of Socialist Feminist revolutionary Gloria Martin comes to my mind when she said, “We have to fight for survival issues–better pay, benefits, abortion rights, child care. But then we have to go further. We have to change the system, because as long as the system is the same, we’ll be fighting all our lives for the same thing….When people have had enough, revolution can happen suddenly.” We would think that the idea of liberation would come in along the line of ” We have to change the system” Most of our readers do not have to be reminded of what our great Black, Lesbian, warrior poet mother Audre Lorde said or what she meant when she said, “the masters tools will never dismantle the masters house.” No they won’t and when we try to use them all we will get is we are tools of the ruling class. Let’s not be fooled by fake revolutionary sayings by spouted off by liberals, let us leave it at that as I am in no mood for a war.

We wish we were going to be home on May 8th. We would go and disrupt this program.

UPDATE: They deleted my comment from their page. I guess they just don’t get it. Now what do you expect?

You deleted my comment but the truth remains. There is no liberation through legislation. Please do not continue to disrespect our Black, Brown and white martyrs in this country and all around the world who fought so people could be truly liberated. I never thought I would see the day when the democrats are considered the vanguard. How soon we forget liberation does not come from the painless activity of state capitols.

 

To follow this discussion go to HERE.

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Randy Rainbow is one of the most wonderful queer artists working today. Randy we love you.

http://https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1035626616539281/

Check out more of Randy Rainbow’s work on facebook HERE.

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Add a little charcoal or some type of smell barrier and we know several folks who could use a few pairs. Though you know we have always enjoyed the clearing a room aspect of a good loud smelly fart. Or remember those that were called silent but deadly? Those were the worse kind. No warning alarm to let us know next up will be_____. Just sneaked up on everyone and then the who did it game starts. Meanie’s will pick a person they don’t like and point at them, saying loudly, “My goodness Margie what have you been eating?”

A long time friend of ours sent along this poem and asked if we would publish it. “Why not,” we said. We read it, enjoyed it, asked ourselves what would we do if faced with this art act How would we respond if we were eating dinner, getting drunk, just sitting around enjoying ourselves. So here it is for your reading pleasure. A big thank you to Wendell for sending it along. He asked that we post a video that even we find disgustingly interesting.

 

 

One night ago: On making and filling empty spaces.

by Wendell Marsh

And when the body fluids started to flow

All over the table it was time for him to go-

Somewhere other than here, anywhere else but here and now, don’t care where, just anywhere, anywhere else but here.

She said I really have nothing to do with him, just get him out of here. Move him away from my table.

I don’t care what he does, go here, go there anywhere but near.

He drooled too much all over on the table, took his finger and made some squiggles. Art on the run. Spit, spit, spit, on the table.

Causing the lady, dripping in all the goodness that money can buy to get out of her chair and leave.

One empty space over there to be filled with a stronger stomach than the lady dripping in all the goodness that money can buy.

I’m getting sick just watching him as he began making his way from his table to another.

Leaving behind on table top spit art squiggles.

With the 3 ladies he sat, oh no why, why us wailed blondie. I don’t want him near me. Not here or anywhere close by.

Why in the world, why in the universe why in the depths of hell, does he want to bug us? Crap he moves closer, he smells along with his grubby clothes.

That need, that need that needs to be filled, happy go lucky stumbling slide over and bug me out. Oh no. Get the fuck out of here.

Lonely artist draws in spit because he has no money for art supplies. He’s a post-studio mess, out about town making it where ever he sits.

Money for drink now that is another thing. More important than all the paintings on canvas. One can always draw with spit on the top of the table in fancy pants place or dives.

Causing people nearby to say fuck this shit we’re leaving. Clean up your act you dirty old thing. We’re outta here.

He mumbles who cares, you mean nothing to me and won’t even buy me a drink for my art.

All’s a goner, empty spaces lots of places to make some art. Wipe the table spit is gone no more art to bother about.

Throw out the bum the bartender yells. He and a few hearty farts do the job of chasing a crowd out the door.

The train rumbles by shaking the whole place. What side of the tracks am I on no matter which the place it shakes.

Every night the train comes right on time, wakes me up and I think, I lay there and think, how the fuck can I get out of here?

Tomorrow I will get on the train and go. Go, go to someplace else, some place other than here where trains don’t rumble in the night waking me up so I have to think in the middle of the night laying there thinking there, thinking in fright, thinking in the night about spit on the table and art.

Just wants to sleep be quiet seeing what can come through from other places to fill this space.

Up in a tree, down in a easy chair, on the bed, beneath the breeze, hoping to cure a sniffle,

running in a field, crossing the country in an airplane, doing the squiggle on tabletops,

naked as a jaybird, startled awake the alarm clock just rang out like a bomb blast, all’s a goner, nothing left, bringing you into the real world from other places, anyplace but here. Landing with a thud in the bed.

To work, filling that space with work, work, work. An ugly place to be at any time, at any place, in any space.

But money is needed this we know and spit on the table isn’t  an art work that would bring in any money. If you think it is and try it out you may end up filling the spaces under a bridge.

Winters cold, summer bugs they bite, not a whole lot of invite in such a world as this.

Security remove that man!

Yeah amerikkka’s promise, Russian Flags.

Well, here’s a story that definitely doesn’t speak well of the American education system. At the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), shortly before Donald Trump’s (bonkers, nonsensical, self-aggrandizing) speech, a prank genius passed out what seemed to the crowd to be pro-Trump swag.

That swag? Small red, white, and blue flags with TRUMP written across them. The problem for those CPAC attendees? They were Russian flags.

Check out the story HERE along with a video of the person responsible for this wonderful action.

Lets tell the villages to come and collect their idiots real soon. This crowd is a very good example of why some folks should not breed.

Sitting around one Saturday after last Bessy Marie said to Olga, “You know we haven’t gone out to lunch for awhile, can’t even remember when we last did as we are always eating at home on a Saturday and then take a nice little nap get up and start again at what seems like another day.” Olga had to agree we need a little break. Let’s go to the art show a town away and then have a nice lunch at that hamburger place that is all the rave. Nice that would be and we would get in not only a bit of lunch but a spiritual uplift from seeing some art. Olga added that one of the top artists in the area curated and some artists we have heard mentioned are showing in. Let’s see what is out there as one of our favorite artists is showing in that show. Off we went and two buses later arrived for lunch in a busy little café that was quickly filling up a half hour before noon.

Lunch in the freezer. Or we might have well be dining outside in Alaska.

We should have gotten up and left but where else was there to go when one has their heart set on a good hamburger. Nowhere around here in this town. Man is it cold in here, don’t they have any heat? The older lady sitting next to us gals said, “I have to eat with my coat on its so cold.” It feels like a terrible breeze coming from the kitchen door every time it opens. I’m glad I have some soup, which is okay to eat first, hopefully it will warm me up and I can get down to eating my traditional burger with Swiss Cheese and onions.” Damn thought Olga I gotta sit here and just about rub elbows with this couple at the next table. What a crowded place this is. Maybe that is where we will get the heat from each other.

Bessy looked around the dining room and notice that over near the corner no one had their coats on but every table was full. Folks must know get here early as soon as a table was empty someone came and sat down. This certainly  popular place let’s hope the food is as good as the crowds are predicting. We must have gotten there at the right time as the place was filling up rather quickly.

Well finally the waitress came, all bubbly and apologizing for the wait. “Okay, we see you are busy as a bubbling bee and cute as a button to boot,” said Bessy we had fun complaining about the cold weather in here and rubbing our toes together to keep warm. Should have worn my fur lined socks and should have brought a blanket for over my lap and a good wrap. Man eating with my coat on is not my idea of a great time.  Bessy Marie remarked, “I bet there is more heat in a Puritan Meeting House. Foot warmer rocks needed here.”

Scanning the menu Bessy Marie decided on a lunch called, I luv Pastrami, “Wow said Bessy what a great sandwich.” It was a delicious burger with nicely cooked pastrami on top ($11.00). A well grilled hard roll with creamy horseradish, lettuce tomato, raw onion and Swiss cheese. Yum, Yum what a tasty sandwich.  Olga being the traditional one in the bunch ordered a Traditional Burger ($9.00). Honey please the lettuce is limper than a old man’s dick. Nice cheese and a well cooked burger. Its funny Olga said that with all the trouble in the food industry that restaurants would still ask people is they want meat rare, medium rare or well done?  What comes with the burger? Just some coleslaw UGH a slimy mystery pile of wilted cabbage with a weak pickle juice sauce. Strangest coleslaw we had ever tried along with a run of the mill limp Dill pickle. No bite no crunch no dill in that pickle causing Olga to wonder, “Is that pickle real?” French fries were an extra charge, only $3.25 and large enough and tasty enough and we shared a basket. Cute little basket it was modeled after a fryer basket. Better than other places were we have tried the French Fries, not greasy and done just right but what a surprise that a lunch didn’t come with the fries. Now what some would call the piece de resistance was the peanut butter pie, more like a brownie. served on a blanket of confectionary sugar a few squirts of chocolate, a nice dollop of whipped cream.  If this has any peanut butter in it I am a monkey’s uncle. Where is the peanut flavor? Maybe if we sing that song, Found a Peanut some flavor will appear?  Now I’m no pie maker but I bet I could make a better pie 10 miles from the kitchen on a rainy day with only a campfire. “Oh your such an exaggerating old coot you don’t even know how to boil water,” Bessy Marie the baker, the cook, the bottle washer and all around Kitchen Queen exclaimed, setting Olga in her place with that one. “Now hold on here that is just the point I am trying to make.”

We never care for a waiter or waitress who every time he or she passes our table says, “How is everything, are you enjoying your meal?” Well snorted Olga as long as I can keep defrosting the icicles that are forming at my nose so they don’t cut into my lip with each bite I will be okay.  Why do they always ask when you have just taken a bite of lunch and are chewing. Not talking with ones mouth full is a rule that one learns way back, most likely in dining at the table 101 for very young people, along with not spitting out your food, talking with your mouth full, farting, eating with your fingers, wiping your mouth with your sleeve and proper cutting into manageable size bites meat. But we loved her anyway. We always take kindly to our working class comrades and always  make sure to give them a great tip. Our little bubbly bee received $15.00 dollars from us and she thought we had made a mistake. Just take the money and run before we change our minds due to you questioning our judgement. Buy your self something nice and we hope you don’t declare the tip, just put it in your pocket and say, “those old gals, didn’t even leave me a penny.”

We are sure that you don’t make all that much due to the crummy laws in this state concerning what a place of business may pay a waiter or waitress. (1) Now if we ruled the place we would make it a law that all workers must start at a wage of $20.00 per hour. Any tips given for a job well done is for just that and one should not need to declare them.  You know honey a waiter or waitress works hard, always running on their feet all the time, serving all types of people, keeping orders straight, smiling, being nice and taking whatever shit a customer gives out. (2)

One thing this place has going for it is the restroom. They didn’t smell which is such a drawback in any restaurant and bar. These were clean. One was not afraid to park there naked butt on the toilet seat with no worry that a bit later, a itch would start and then another or a pimple would break out or a rash on the ass is no joy of living just because one had to pee using a strange toilet.

All in all we will give this restaurant 4.5 stars outta 10.

Overall this isn’t a place we would come back to. (more…)