Sitting around one Saturday after last Bessy Marie said to Olga, “You know we haven’t gone out to lunch for awhile, can’t even remember when we last did as we are always eating at home on a Saturday and then take a nice little nap get up and start again at what seems like another day.” Olga had to agree we need a little break. Let’s go to the art show a town away and then have a nice lunch at that hamburger place that is all the rave. Nice that would be and we would get in not only a bit of lunch but a spiritual uplift from seeing some art. Olga added that one of the top artists in the area curated and some artists we have heard mentioned are showing in. Let’s see what is out there as one of our favorite artists is showing in that show. Off we went and two buses later arrived for lunch in a busy little café that was quickly filling up a half hour before noon.
Lunch in the freezer. Or we might have well be dining outside in Alaska.
We should have gotten up and left but where else was there to go when one has their heart set on a good hamburger. Nowhere around here in this town. Man is it cold in here, don’t they have any heat? The older lady sitting next to us gals said, “I have to eat with my coat on its so cold.” It feels like a terrible breeze coming from the kitchen door every time it opens. I’m glad I have some soup, which is okay to eat first, hopefully it will warm me up and I can get down to eating my traditional burger with Swiss Cheese and onions.” Damn thought Olga I gotta sit here and just about rub elbows with this couple at the next table. What a crowded place this is. Maybe that is where we will get the heat from each other.
Bessy looked around the dining room and notice that over near the corner no one had their coats on but every table was full. Folks must know get here early as soon as a table was empty someone came and sat down. This certainly popular place let’s hope the food is as good as the crowds are predicting. We must have gotten there at the right time as the place was filling up rather quickly.
Well finally the waitress came, all bubbly and apologizing for the wait. “Okay, we see you are busy as a bubbling bee and cute as a button to boot,” said Bessy we had fun complaining about the cold weather in here and rubbing our toes together to keep warm. Should have worn my fur lined socks and should have brought a blanket for over my lap and a good wrap. Man eating with my coat on is not my idea of a great time. Bessy Marie remarked, “I bet there is more heat in a Puritan Meeting House. Foot warmer rocks needed here.”
Scanning the menu Bessy Marie decided on a lunch called, I luv Pastrami, “Wow said Bessy what a great sandwich.” It was a delicious burger with nicely cooked pastrami on top ($11.00). A well grilled hard roll with creamy horseradish, lettuce tomato, raw onion and Swiss cheese. Yum, Yum what a tasty sandwich. Olga being the traditional one in the bunch ordered a Traditional Burger ($9.00). Honey please the lettuce is limper than a old man’s dick. Nice cheese and a well cooked burger. Its funny Olga said that with all the trouble in the food industry that restaurants would still ask people is they want meat rare, medium rare or well done? What comes with the burger? Just some coleslaw UGH a slimy mystery pile of wilted cabbage with a weak pickle juice sauce. Strangest coleslaw we had ever tried along with a run of the mill limp Dill pickle. No bite no crunch no dill in that pickle causing Olga to wonder, “Is that pickle real?” French fries were an extra charge, only $3.25 and large enough and tasty enough and we shared a basket. Cute little basket it was modeled after a fryer basket. Better than other places were we have tried the French Fries, not greasy and done just right but what a surprise that a lunch didn’t come with the fries. Now what some would call the piece de resistance was the peanut butter pie, more like a brownie. served on a blanket of confectionary sugar a few squirts of chocolate, a nice dollop of whipped cream. If this has any peanut butter in it I am a monkey’s uncle. Where is the peanut flavor? Maybe if we sing that song, Found a Peanut some flavor will appear? Now I’m no pie maker but I bet I could make a better pie 10 miles from the kitchen on a rainy day with only a campfire. “Oh your such an exaggerating old coot you don’t even know how to boil water,” Bessy Marie the baker, the cook, the bottle washer and all around Kitchen Queen exclaimed, setting Olga in her place with that one. “Now hold on here that is just the point I am trying to make.”
We never care for a waiter or waitress who every time he or she passes our table says, “How is everything, are you enjoying your meal?” Well snorted Olga as long as I can keep defrosting the icicles that are forming at my nose so they don’t cut into my lip with each bite I will be okay. Why do they always ask when you have just taken a bite of lunch and are chewing. Not talking with ones mouth full is a rule that one learns way back, most likely in dining at the table 101 for very young people, along with not spitting out your food, talking with your mouth full, farting, eating with your fingers, wiping your mouth with your sleeve and proper cutting into manageable size bites meat. But we loved her anyway. We always take kindly to our working class comrades and always make sure to give them a great tip. Our little bubbly bee received $15.00 dollars from us and she thought we had made a mistake. Just take the money and run before we change our minds due to you questioning our judgement. Buy your self something nice and we hope you don’t declare the tip, just put it in your pocket and say, “those old gals, didn’t even leave me a penny.”
We are sure that you don’t make all that much due to the crummy laws in this state concerning what a place of business may pay a waiter or waitress. (1) Now if we ruled the place we would make it a law that all workers must start at a wage of $20.00 per hour. Any tips given for a job well done is for just that and one should not need to declare them. You know honey a waiter or waitress works hard, always running on their feet all the time, serving all types of people, keeping orders straight, smiling, being nice and taking whatever shit a customer gives out. (2)
One thing this place has going for it is the restroom. They didn’t smell which is such a drawback in any restaurant and bar. These were clean. One was not afraid to park there naked butt on the toilet seat with no worry that a bit later, a itch would start and then another or a pimple would break out or a rash on the ass is no joy of living just because one had to pee using a strange toilet.
All in all we will give this restaurant 4.5 stars outta 10.
Overall this isn’t a place we would come back to. (more…)